From this one spark of conversation, came a new way of thinking that changed my life, forever. I tried thinking on what I was grateful for. And sure, at first it was awkward and embarrassing. All I could think of were money and material related things (hey, I was 23.) I yearned for a great romantic love. I wanted a job that stimulated and appreciated me. I wanted to own a big ranch. All I could think about were my far off dreams, not the things in front of me. With reluctance, I expressed gratitude for my health. (big whup). Then for my mom, for paying for me to take a weekend break from my pathetic life in Seattle. (Moderate gratitude-ok, this sort of works.) Then for my best friend, Dee (wow, big wave of love there-cool!) Pretty soon, I was finding all kinds of things that made me happy in tiny, incremental ways. The sunny sky. The working car, hurtling us down the freeway. The laughter from good music (Weird Al Yankovic). It was WEIRD, realizing how much my mind was actually picking up from my environment, until I really started to notice it.
 

and when we had run through a breathless, LONG giggling list of things we found, Mom started to tell me…

“Okay, see the way the Universe expresses itself is through Abundance, and Diversity. The Universe doesn’t edit your expression. If you say, ‘ I want to fall in love. I want to be over this flu.’ then the Universe will GIVE you an abundance of you WANTING to fall in love. OF WANTING to be over the flu. If you really want to manifest your intent, you need to express it as if it’s already happening, then release it utterly into the hands of the Universe. Whatever you spoke, wrote down, or expressed, WILL come into being, if you are clear in your intent.”

WHOA! Can I just say–HOLY WHOA!!

So I tried it.I could feel how open my heart was after expressing gratitude, especially out loud. I‘ve always believed that words are like keys in doors. If you can find the right words or combinations of words, you can open any door to people, to places…to the world. There is a power and grace in the spoken word. It’s magic in action.

the opening this creates will blow your mind!

So I decided to do two things with my own manifestations-speak them out loud, and add some bread and butter daily ones, to keep up the caliber of life I wanted to make for myself.

Because I love my readers so much, I will share some of them with you.

• Everywhere I go today, I will be on time.
• I am healthy, happy and whole, guided, guarded and protected at all times.
• I am refreshed and relaxed as if I had a restful night’s sleep.
• I am singing, dancing, and writing.
• Money is flowing into my life~~ easily and effortlessly~~.
• I intend the highest possible good for all my loved ones. (Here I insert prayers for specific people, such as Devilish who is recovering from a devastating accident-I found out through his mom Highjinks’s posts.)

Then I get into more specific intent regarding life path, home/hearth, love, and travel. Speaking the words out loud, sending my dreams and hopes into the ether..flat out, people,  is POWERFUL medicine. I encourage you to do this RIGHT NOW. Yes, you can [[whisper]] it at your monitor if you like. I will wait. Don’t feel weird, it’s been time to start doing this anyway.

a Rubens tube uses sound waves to make fire!

I was doing this faithfully for years, then only sporadically. I realized that I felt a bit demanding of the Universe, and I wasn’t sure what I was doing to balance that out. But now, I’ve been back to doing them every morning, and my heart is the happier for it.

Quan Yin is still in my life. Her presence touches me continually, and I feel a better woman made for it. But Gratitude and Manifestation are also two forces I could not do without. When I think that my life used to be battered about, on the waves of my emotions, that I had no control, no sense of which way was sky and which way was earth.. that no lifevest could help me, only the occasional random wave would fall back, so I could gasp of fresh air..

create a loop, then follow the road.

Well. Hallelujah to Now, is all I can say.

It doesn’t matter what you believe, insofar as Universe, the Buddha, or Jesus. At the very least, can you believe in yourself? What was the first time you decided to show your individual spirit?

I intend to Believe!

Photo credits go to-

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• Quan Yin
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• 35th Birthday
• Unusual Gifts
• Musing #3
• Magik-Peter Murphy

I have struggled with strong sweat since I was little girl. I used to get terrible water blisters on my feet, rashes on my thighs, and pimples anywhere else, especially my upper back. At various places I’ve worked, when I was experimenting with hippie deodorants (with no aluminum) I was asked several times about my showering habits! It was mortifying, but I got used to being embarassed, as what was I supposed to do??

I had heard mention of the Crystal stick, but after spending 15 yrs and countless dollars, I had given up. But ultimately, I did buy it. Call it a last heroic attempt.

Since UrbanGreen Girl said is succinctly and as well as I would say it, this was shamelessly re-posted from her blog. I made some slight edits in length. Thank you, Urban Green Girl!

http://urbangreengirl.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/dont-die-trying-to-smell-good-use-a-deodorant-crystal/

————————————————————————————–

Today we are going to talk about how conventional deodorants and antiperspirants have been rumored  to cause cancer because of the ingredients aluminum chlorohydrate and aluminum zirconium.  It is said that these aluminum compounds are absorbed through the skin and into the lymph nodes.  Aluminum, is a neurotoxin and is linked to Alzheimer’s disease and cancer. (Thus,  you should also get rid of your aluminum frying pans while at it!).

According to the National Cancer Institute:

Some research suggests that aluminum-based compounds, which are applied frequently and left on the skin near the breast, may be absorbed by the skin and cause estrogen-like (hormonal) effects (1). Because estrogen has the ability to promote the growth of breast cancer cells, some scientists have suggested that the aluminum-based compounds in antiperspirants may contribute to the development of breast cancer (1).

Research linking conventional deodorants and antiperspirants to cancer may be inconclusive, but so is the research of many other causes of cancer. So rather than waiting to find out, why not eliminate the risk altogether?

HUMAN BIOLOGY:

The purpose of sweating is to cool the body and release toxins. Toxins are not something you want to keep in your body. It’s nature’s way of keeping us healthy. Now, it’s not the sweating that causes body odour, it’s the bacteria that comes into contact with the sweat.  So in order to eliminate body odour, all you need to do is create an environment where the bacteria can’t thrive.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH TRADITIONAL DEODORANTS?

Traditional deodorants mask body odor with a perfume, contain alcohol to shrink pores, or aluminum chlorohydrate/aluminum zirconium. These compounds enter the pores and physically block or clog them to reduce the flow of perspiration. In essence, they inhibit the body’s natural expulsion of toxins.

THE SOLUTION – A DEODORANT CRYSTAL:

These crystals are made up of a variety of minerals which form a new compound that is too big to be absorbed by the skin. When applied to the skin, it creates an environment where bacteria cannot thrive, thus, no more body odour. Other benefits are that they are fragrance-free, non-sticky, will leave no marks on your clothes or white flakes or residue on the skin.  They are approved for safety by the Environmental Working Group, and recommended by health professionals.

DEODORANT CRYSTALS ARE:

• Safe for your health (regardless if the jury’s out on aluminum chlorohydrate, it’s 100% sure that these are safe)
• Better for the environment (No harsh chemicals)
• Less packaging
• Available in health food stores ($4-$8)
• Last 1 yr

Here’s a sample photo, so when you see one at the store, you can pick one up!

#2-Neti Pot

I dated a guy who was mad, crazy, I would even say obsessed with how well the Neti Pot works. I was skeptical, I was resistant. I made jokes. “It’s a pipe! Up your NOSE!” Eventually, he ‘double-dog-dared’  me to try it, and I have to say, like most things I fight at first, I was pretty impressed. Don’t get me wrong, it will never exactly feel right having water chugged through your nose, but if it’s warm, salt water, and it helps me breathe better when I’m sick, have allergies, or am out in the Dusty, Desert Wonderland known as Burning Man, then hell, pass it OVER. Here’s a great picture of the pot, and the instructional video, in which a four year old shows you that anyone can do this!

Image-http://www.ecobathroom.com/shop/images/hi-netipot.jpg

#3-Household Cleaner, a solution of Vinegar/Water

I discovered not very long ago that vinegar is amazing for cleaning all sort of places in my house. I discovered this after the cat upchucked on the carpet for the umpteenth time. And, after I burned cooked pumpkin in the bottom of my favorite large pot. And, after I spilled wine on the carpet. And, after I was done cleaning the house, but needed to do a quick dust-swipe, and had someone coming over who is sensitive to smells. For all these reasons, and many more.

Uses for Vinegar

1. All-Purpose Cleaner: Mix 50% water and 50% vinegar in a spray bottle and you have a solution that will clean sinks, counter tops, and other surfaces.
2. Floor Cleaner: Add ½ cup distilled white vinegar in a gallon of water to clean hardwood or laminated floors. No need to rinse.
3. Dish Cleaner: Mix 2 tablespoons white vinegar to liquid dish soap to help cut grease.
4. Scouring Cleanser:  Combine 1/4 cup baking soda with 1 tablespoon liquid detergent. Add just enough white distilled vinegar to give it a thick but creamy texture.
5. Glass and Windows: Alcohol and white vinegar together make a quickly evaporating spray glass and mirror cleaner. Mix 1 cup rubbing alcohol, 1 cup water, 1 tablespoon vinegar in a spray bottle. Or try the 50-50 all-purpose cleaner listed above.
6. Refrigerator Cleaner: Clean the refrigerator by washing with a solution of equal parts water and vinegar.
7. Get rid of fruit flies: Set out a small dish of undiluted white distilled vinegar.
8. Microwave Oven Cleaner: Set a solution of of 1/4 cup of vinegar and 1 cup of water in the microwave. Heat for 2 minutes on high. This will loosen splattered-on food so it wipes out easily.
9. Show Curtain Cleaner: Get rid of mold from shower curtains by putting the shower curtain in the washing machine with a couple of towels; add 1 cup white vinegar to the detergent and wash.
10. Faucet Cleaner: Put vinegar on a cloth and let it sit on the back of your kitchen or bathroom faucet to remove hard water stains.
11. Coffee Maker Cleaner: Run a pot full of white vinegar through your drip coffee maker once a month to free it of mineral buildup . Rinse thoroughly with water when the cycle is finished.
12. Shower Head Cleaner: Remove hard water deposits from your shower head by putting some white vinegar into a plastic baggy; duct tape it to the shower head and leave overnight. Brush the shower head to remove remaining deposits.
13. Drain Cleaner: Keep drains clean by pouring in 1/2 cup baking soda followed by 1/2 cup vinegar; the mixture will foam as it cleans and deodorizes.
14. Copper Cleaner: Dissolve 1 teaspoon of salt in 1 cup of distilled vinegar to make a paste to clean copper pot and pan bottoms.
15. Garbage Disposal Cleaner: Make vinegar ice cubes and feed them down the disposal to clean and deodorize the disposal.
16. Toilet Bowl Cleaner: Flush the toilet to allow the water level to go down, then pour pure vinegar in the toilet bowl to get rid of rings. Scrub down the bowl. Never mix vinegar with bleach. If you use bleach tablets do not use vinegar.
17. Eyeglass Cleaner: Clean your glasses by wiping each lens with a drop of white vinegar.
18. Gummed Label Remover: Saturate a cloth with hot vinegar and soak price labels to remove from glass, wood, and china. Give the vinegar time to soak in and after several minutes the label can be rubbed off.
19. Clean and deodorize urine on a mattress:  Mix a white distilled vinegar and water solution. Then sprinkle the area with baking soda and let dry. Brush or vacuum the residue after it is dry to the touch.

#4-Dr. Bronner’s

Who doesn’t love Dr. Bronner’s soap? the zealous religious gibberish, the clean pastel labels? The re-fillable bottles, the varied but organic scents? And did I mention the ridiculously, notorious, impossible to read instructions?

http://www.drbronner.com/

#5-Showering in the dark

If you have not done this, no amount of youtube, external links, or firely turned phrase can give you a sense of this delight. You will just.have.to.trust me. It’s amazing, wonderful, and really fun. You’d be surprised how well you know where the things are in your shower. Try it sometime. See how far you get.AND, if possible, report back!

Image just for fun-

http://www.ledinside.com/forum/download/file.php?id=1238

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Pacific_Garbage_Patch

Have you ever heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?Yeah, I hadn’t either until last year. And loathe though I am, to bring more craptastic news from the Mother Earth front, you kids NEED to hear this news. So when you go to the grocery store, and you are hungry, tired, or just spaced out from whatever the emotional landscape of your heart is THIS week, I invite you to ponder a peapod of thought about your walking outta there with plastic grocery bags. Because if you didn’t really open the Wikipedia link I just posted, I’m afraid you aren’t off the hook just yet. PLASTIC GROCERY BAGS ARE EVIL. SAY IT WITH ME. YES, OUT LOUD.

PLASTIC. BAGS. EVIL.

AGAIN.

I CAN’T HHHEAAAAAARRRR YOU!

PLASTIC GROCERY BAGS = EVIL.

There. Don’t you feel better?

So, yes, plastic bags are choking, literally, the life from our oceans, fellow animals, and ultimately, from us. Choking ourselves. Sound fun? I didn’t think so either. And don’t be cantankerous and say yes, because really, it’s no joking manner. The scale of which plastic grocery bags and bottles are taking over the sheer acreage of our planet is one of the few things left that terrifies me.

I love my planet. I love her diversity, I love her sense of humor. I love how she handles things. I love how straighforward she is. I love knowing which parts I love (mountains) and which parts I hate (desert). I love snow and rain, I love valleys and caves, I love bugs, spiders, bats and giraffes. I love yucky tasting plants. I love that everything on this planet that is from Here is either food or medicine for something else.I love mushrooms that glow in the dark (really!) I love the rocks, the water, the fire, and the air. I love the things that hold *those* things together.

So with that said, I’ve decided to offer something for free.

I have these Chico Bags (images below) I bought last year to pass out when I was going to co-host a sustainability conference that never panned out.I now have approx 40 of these suckers sitting in my house, doing nothing.

I will send you 4-5 chico bags to REPLACE any plastic bag usage you are currently occupying. If you send me a private message with your address, you will get a truly fabulous-and-free, Promise-personalized gift. I am seriously fired up here!

“But Promise”, I hear you say, “I use plastic bags for all kinds of things! My lunch! Cat Litter! I put my junk in that trunk and walk down the street, all sassy-like!”

no. No. N-N-N-NO. It is the opposite of sexy-sassy to be toting around that shite in this day and age, party people. Pull your head, outta your pumpkin butt!

If you’ve got a mountain stash, grab a handful, smooth them out, go on your next grocery store run, and stand outside for 5 minutes…. Gently offer them to people walking in. Don’t be “salesman-y”. Don’t pitch. Just smile and say “Do you need any shopping bags before you get started? Free! I just don’t need these anymore.”

Trust me, it’ll work. What am I advocating? Passing the buck? Initially, yes. Get rid of the plastic shopping bags you’ve got, start getting paper ones. Carry your own shit out of the convenience store. You need a Butterfinger? Hey, we all need a Butterfinger, but just carry the darn thing. YOU can do this!

Yeesh!

The Chico Bags are seriously cool. They are little. Who doesn’t love little? They are FABRIC. They have a carabeener on them. You know, the little doohickey that let’s you hook one thing to another thing? Cara-beeener. I just like to say that word. They come, from Promise, in bright blue with an Earth on them that says “Helping Humanity kick the single-use bag habit” Nice, right? and they can be washed. I keep two on me, and use them ALL the time.

I’ve been testing this out for about six months now. As in, when I first got them, I was like  “Well, sure they look great, but will I remember to use them?” Well, I do, and you know why? Because I get hit on! Because perfectly hot famous people I want to **** with come to my door in the middle of the night and ROAR my name! Because I feel good, because I look good, and darnit, it’s nice to be Mighty Mouse!

WE, you and I, are going to do this together. It’s simple, you say =

I want a gift, then, ergo  =

I send you the gift.

What is the gift? Yes, it’s fabric bags, but it’s also the wind, the trees, and your own life.

The beauty that is your  heart,

 and dreams.

Dream big. 

Go Team Promise.

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• On being a Bicyclist
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• Like Jessica Rabbit

I know that Cars are necessary for many people to get to– their jobs, social/family events,school, roadtrips! festivals, parades, running errands,vacations, etc. I use Cars for all these things too.(www.citycarshare.com) But I have spent quite of bit of my waking hours, and still do, on researching the effect Cars have on our ecological, emotional, physical, and cultural environment. The stats are quite clear.

Cars.Are.Evil.

Mind you, I was raised by a community of avid, passionate car lovers who raced the damn things, and I adore them(rally people and Cars) to no end. I started driving when I was 8 years old. I KNOW what I am doing behind the wheel. I am not talking about whether or not my driving style suits you. I am talking about the fact that I can get into any vehicle, and be intimately aware of its outer dimensions, so I can navigate the video-game-like quality in the public world called Other Drivers. I can also parallel park any vehicle pretty well. Reverse is my best gear, actually. *grin*

But I was always too cheap, or it was too inconvenient, or what do you know, I got in a fender bender, and I had no insurance and it was my fault (Hey! I was, like 20!) so I just gave up on having a car while living in the metropolis. This tradition of not wanting to take on more fiscal responsibility carried on for a few more years, because once I moved to the Bay Area, it is relatively convenient for public transit, and parking is something that drives people into therapy here. No joke.

So I became a proud pedestrian. Back then, who cared that my knees and hips hurt, and it took 3 times the amount of time to get anywhere, I was a PEDESTRIAN. I was CONTRIBUTING. My personal, emotional sacrifice was minor compared to the ecological and cultural benefits that my statement was having on the world. It became something more than my unwillingness to shell out cash and payments and tags and maintenance. It became part of my *life*style to say No to commuting. Say No to TimeSuck. Say No to road rage, Carjacking, and donations out my left-hand window for homeless dogs’ food.

Besides, I have a VERY impressive Car sitting resume for when my friends go out of town, and I mean this quite seriously. One friend and I have an elaborate system set up for her frequent travel-she drives south at 4 am, picks me up, we drive to the airport, she doesn’t pay to park it (WHAT did I tell you earlier?) and I get a vehicle to carouse around in. Pretty sweet deal.

So about 2 years ago, a friend of mine loaned me a bike to go to burningman (www.burningman.com) I had biked around Europe and fallen in love with this form of travel–the ambling, body-driven exposed kind that seduces one into truly experiencing the environment. It’s like listening to Japanese on your way to work on a CD player with cheap headphones, versus going into a cell store having a sale on the XunChi 138 in Tokyo. You are steeped and drenched in the experience.

I asked my friend if he wanted his bike back.

 He said, “Yes, soon.”

 9 months went by.

It didn’t take me 9 months to fall in love, however. It only took about 2 months. I named it Trusty Steed. For it was. Bulky, built for a boy, a veritable tank on the road. ok, I exaggerate. A LITTLE.

I parked Trusty one day at the BART station and went to stay overnight at my boyfriend’s house. By the next morning, it had been promptly stolen. I sat stunned, got angry, then got sad and cried. I spent 3 solid weeks looking at every single bike that went by, and felt a terrible sense of loss and longing. I called the original owner (we had worked out a ‘permanent loan’ situation), he said it was no big deal to him. It was to me, though. I thought I had tracked it down in a flea market, but as it turned out, it wasn’t mine. Only time I’ve asked for the police. It was a helpless kind of experience, needing an intermediary to talk to another human being.

I later got to chatting with the hot dog stand guy, and he told me that the person who steals bikes at this station (which is apparently 10 or more a DAY) lives right across the street! The cops don’t do anything because, and I quote from the police here, “we can’t catch him in the act.”

*throws hands up in disgust*

I decided to move on and purchase my own bike, which is scary, because bikes can cost quite a load of cash. I did some poking around, found a hybrid for $425, got outfitted (The Bent Spoke, Oakland, CA), went back to my favorite repair shop (www.mikesbikes.com) and got accessorized up the whazoo. First thing I did when I got home? Registered my new bike, T’la.

I ride to work every day now, and all over town. I take her places. I fuss over her, I clean her, and I am an extremely mindful and alert rider.When someone gets a new bike, I give them all the praise I would if someone bought a new car. Which I also get excited about, just not as much. When I’m dating someone who bikes, it makes me RIDiculously happy. I even arranged a group bicycle ride last summer. We stopped for pizza and beer. It was awesome.

(not my bike)

So somewhere along the line, I became a bicyclist, and I feel really, really good about it. I encourage dusting yours off, getting the rust out, and taking a ride. You wouldn’t believe the simplicity, brilliance, and wonder that can be found in each day.

Photo credits to-

http://www.promago.de/news/wp-content/xunchi2.jpg

.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/underwater-bicycles-shangha.jpg

http://hellforleathermagazine.com/weblog/RocketBike1.jpg

http://www.funis2cool.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/extraordinary_bicycles_01.jpg

http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliaguiliano/491936790/

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• Who do you answer to?

One of the things that draws us to film? No one ever says-
What? I didn’t hear you. Repeat that. Speak up. What did you say? I thought you said..You are mumbling. Huh? Why do you keep saying that!

There’s rarely stuttering, unless its obviously built into a character to such a degree as to show extreme shyness. Once a characters’ basic nature is set, they don’t really have good days and bad days. And no one, EVER tells the same joke twice. In sitcoms, yes, but not in film.

I find myself more and more attracted to the idea of saying what I need to say, once, and with as much clarity as possible. I realize this may be unnerving, but I’m not too concerned about that. But repeating myself has become something I detest, and have grown to be irritated when I see it reflected around me.

Its a peculiar sort of venus-fly-trap, communicatively speaking, when someone tells a joke, its funny, people around them laugh, and then they repeat sections of the funny part over and over again. It doesn’t even have to be a joke. I’ve noticed that it can be a loving jib or a flat out insult, couched in a pinch-your-cheek sort of way. It’s bizarre to watch these comments accepted and even relished when the person who’s receiving them is not as enthusiastic.

Where does this symptom come from? I can muse that it comes from the change from meeting in person, to calling and emailing, then to IMing and text messaging. Our attention spans flit from place to place. When I want to make arrangements to have dinner with a friend, they inevitably, without fail, nearly always say, “Great, just send me an email (though their PDA is right there) and then remind me the day before. Or! Can you send me a text? that’s perfect.

As if I’m a personal assistant.

Its gotten to be dizzying, trying to keep track of each person’s preferred method to communicate with them. My friend Epic wants to be called, left no messages, and once she sees that she’s missed a call, its the ’signal’ to call me back. My other friend Thunderous wants to be texted only, but if I leave a voicemail, she’ll listen to it. My other friend Mischief never checks email or voicemail, doesn’t know how to use text messaging, but can get text messages. And these are just a few.

I used to *hate* it, and raged against it. Now I accept that each person has their own way. I just wish my phone could memorize these things for me, in little “your friend’s preferences” and remind me before I go to have a damn dinner.

Apparently, because I know how to remember things, or stop and take in something once, I need less repetition. So it falls to me, to massage and nurture my relationships in this way. I think its also a product of living in a metropolitan area. In my case, its a burden. I accept it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

So if I’m talking to you, and you asked me to repeat something, and there’s no obvious cute distracting person around, or a 5 car pile up behind my head, or your boss or mother didn’t just call, if I just stare at you, know you’ll know why.

Photo credits to-

http://www.pixelperson.com/manage/wp-content/images/repeat_pandemic.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ksnyusILTeE/SKQHWnXo5OI/AAAAAAAABsM/XsNJHWWet08/s400/ist2_483232-i-can-t-hear-you.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y110/headwideopen/todaysforecastrepetition.jpg

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• Adopt-To take up and make one’s own

This topic has caused me controversy in the past, and my intent here is to share my feelings on the subject, to where it has led me today, and to gain feedback, resources, and certainly, a dialogue, if you readers are game. But since its something close to my heart, I’m just letting you know, in advance. Sensitive.

Ever since I was 13, I’ve known I wanted to adopt children.

As I grew up in rural Washington state, I had what we nowadays call a tickle, a sense of my path and how I would be affecting the world. I want to say that I understood and accepted it, but really, it scared the fritz out of me.I knew these things would come to pass, but how? And when? and with Who?

Fast forward almost 15 years later, and I’ve since found out some information about my own birth, and the people who helped raised me, that even more strongly convinces me that Adoption is the course I want to take. Though now, I’ve done some reading, and found out some astonishing things. For example, there is such a thing as open and semi-open adoption, where the birth family does not lose all contact with the adoptive family, as a matter of fact, can sometimes be very involved. I decided in my mid 20’s that semi-open or open was the only way for me.

It’s amazing the reactions I’ve had from others over the years whenever I bring it up, or it comes up–

“What have you got against having children?”

“You know my friend so-and-so was so screwed up from being adopted.”

“It’s very expensive and it takes years, you know.”

*Blank stare*

*Uncomfortable shifting away,or incredulous anger*

“Are you saying I’m hurting the planet by having kids?”

and in relationships, “Well.. I’ve always sort of… kind of… wanted one of my own.”

So very much of these reactions has been projection. , but my feelings about adoption come from a very clear, defined space.

1)I care very deeply about the state of over-population.I consider myself a social scientist, and an observer and participant in Cultural Evolution.

2)I don’t care if the child is mine, there are children here on this planet, alive, that need love, care, and families.

3)I don’t know my own roots very well, nor what I would be subjecting a child to-ie, alcoholism, insanity, genetic defects, diabetes, etc. I accept that those factors may be present in a child already here that I want to bring into my family.

4)I will not wait to be married to have children.

5)I have still, at 34 years old, had minimal to no maternal urgings to create my own.Not to mention the difficulties that some of the studies are starting to show for the children of women who give birth over 35. Rises in autism, obesity, and other conditions that we as a culture are not necessarily prepared for.

6)And finally, I’ve just always known, deep down, that even if I don’t adopt officially, children will be in my life. Around me. Considering me part of their family.

So I’ve decided to take a very scary leap this year. I’m going to go and meet with several adoption agencies, and find out what it would take to start an adoption. Am I considered a good candidate? What needs to be done? How long will the process take? I am ready to face some of the answers to these questions.

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• Repetition, why do we, repeat, why do we, repeat?

its the responsibility of the person who speaks two languages, to speak in the language they can both understand.

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Watching a friend of mine grow a child inside of her, brings out a primal reaction in me. Or more accurately, primeaval. I feel a snarling protection, immediately followed by a down-soft pillow vulnerability. I feel helpless, yet determined.

There is so much pressure in the world of pregnancy its incredible and astonishing in its depth and width. Picture the Mississippi River. The whole thing. And yet its a fragile place, in my mind. I know that we rarely lose a mother in childbirth these days compared to the Days of Old, but still. I consider it one of the Main Doors of Humanity. Its epic. Its mythic. Its astounding, and its REAL. There is no video game out there of Active Labor. Every human instinct knows that its not something you can synthesize.

I muse today on the Primal-in its unpredictability, its roots in beginnings, and its constant watch over my heart and body.

pri·mal (prml)

[Medieval Latin prmlis, from Latin prmus, first; see per¹ in Indo-European roots.]

primaeval, primeval, primordial, aboriginal

early – at or near the beginning of a period of time or course of events or before the usual or expected time; “early morning”; “an early warning”; “early diagnosis”; “an early death”; “took early retirement”; “an early spring”; “early varieties of peas and tomatoes mature before most standard varieties”

Photo is of birch trees-Birch is symbolic of beginnings, renewal & starting over.  The Birch is in the primary position within the Ogham.

Ancient Siberians hailed it as sacred – calling it the ladder that spanned the gap between heaven & earth.

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So of course, I called my friend Costello. I said “Do you want to run an Information Booth with me, I think it would be really fun.” He said “Yes.”

So Saturday, we set up a table at the Farmers Market, dressed nicely, and made a sign that says “FREE UNIVERSAL INFORMATION”.

We were there for about 3 hours, and answered all manner of questions. It was fun. It was surprising. We laughed alot. When people didn’t have specific questions, we offered random tidbits such as “Did you know a 10 gallon hat barely holds 6 pints? a dime has 118 ridges! Pigs orgasm for up to 30 minutes! Did you know women blink twice as much as men? The tiny bit at the end of your shoelace is called an agglet!”

We encouraged and supported each others answers, even when we differed. (Vampires). We had, in short, a BLAST.

We will probably do it again, in a different location. Just so you know, between he and I, we have lots of information to give.

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