My Little Pail » Money Matters and Myth

Data Dump

promise — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:59:38 +0000

good lord, a lot has gone on! It’s weird how life accelerates, and slows down, according to the activities swirling around, and your perspective.For instance, I’ve become much looser lately about the way things are going. This loose-ness was tested in several arenas lately, such as job, dating, and side work. Let’s tackle these by subject.

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I’d decided to stop worrying about my job situation-I was either going to find the dream job, be unemployed and desperate again, or I was going to find some kind of filler to maintain my financial flow.As it turns out, I got a call from another department within my company, went in for one of the shortest interviews of my life (only 20 minutes! they loved me) took a Microsoft proficiency test and typing test (I type 63 wpm-snap!) and wham bam before I could say thank you ma’am, I had the job.

(in the midst of all that, I had applied for lost hours at EDD, and as it turns out, I earned no retroactive money for late Aug or all of September, because of $40 a week–*sigh*)

I am taking a pay decrease, and depending on how you look at it, a demotion, but I can’t stay where I am ANY longer.Really, things were bad a year ago. Good lord! A YEAR! Normally when something is not working in my life, it only takes a brief time before I get aligned with Spirit, and try and flush out the lesson, so I can work within it, get to a place of harmony and release, and then boom, what do you know, the things/person/place/event has worked its’ way off the main road of my life, and is now doing its’ own thing.

The new job is not so much a dream job as it is a filler one, but it’s with people who I can genuinely work WITH, I can keep my seniority and benefits, and more importantly, I will be back to full time. It is close to home (currently riding a mile and a half on the bike, now will be riding 2 1/2 miles), and I’m guaranteed to be able to stay for 2-3 years, certainly longer if I want to.So all in all, a major accomplishment!!

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I also have been feeling sort of tired from dating. I knew earlier this summer that I had entered an arena of quantity-versus-quality, and even my closest friends expressed reservations about this method, but it was working for me, at the time. Now, I’m sort of emotionally fatigued. Though oddly, it’s opened up the opportunity to spend time with more quality men. I’m still sort of tired, but am withdrawing a bit. Instead of “Let’s party-it’s summer-date-til-you-drop!”, now I’m more in a “Want to make dinner, share a walk at night, and talk?” sort of head space. Yes, I know I am having a seasonal response. I trust I am going the right way, for me.

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The adoption interviews have largely halted while I addressed the job/dating/opera/wedding craziness but I hope to start them up again in early November. Learning about what other adoptive parents are going through to bring a child into their home is intensely exciting for me.

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“What’s this about an opera?”, you ask. “What wedding!?”, you exclaim, astonished.

Well, for my 35th birthday a month ago, my friend LongJohns took me to my first opera as a gift. It was an afternoon matinee, but I dressed to the nines, because, well, you know. I’m Me.

We saw The Abduction from the Seraglio, by Mozart.

http://sfopera.com/o/286.asp

It was a truly amazing experience. I always secretly yearned to go to the opera, but thought I would end up hating it for being boring, stuffy, or too difficult to understand. I thought I might resent the people, or the opulence. But really, like so many other things in life, it was nothing like I thought it would be. Of course, I saw it through my own filter, but that’s ok! The music was wonderful, the costumes were clever, dimensional, and very suited to each character, and the singing was top notch. They repeated lines, which lost my interest about halfway through, but the translator screen was discreet, and easy to follow. We were seated high, so binoculars were essential.

A very elegant and expensive dinner followed. LongJohns and I have been friends for many years, with a few threads unwoven in our tapestry. We discussed these threads over dinner, and had a illuminating conversation, laughingly covering old ground, and marveling at the road our friendship has traveled. I’m going back with him to the opera on Tuesday night to see Salome. It’s illegedly psychotic and sexy. Enough said.

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Now, the wedding.

So a few weeks ago, a friend of mine who I have lunch with every few months contacted me out of the blue by text, and wanted to have lunch. Since I’d just gotten her wedding invitation in the mail, I had a feeling it was wedding-freakout-lunch. I was right. But, there was more to it than that.

She asked me to lead the ceremony at the wedding. I said, Wow, I’m honored, and of course.

She also asked me if I would weigh in with my opinion on things like hair, nails, jewelry, and shoes.I said, Wow, of course.

Then she asked me if she and Groom could hire me to be their wedding planner. I said, Wow, I’m honored, and I need to think about it.

We worked out the financial details, the deadline, and the general overview of what needed to be done. And the next day, I said Yes. What followed were 2 1/2 weeks of the most challenging,thrilling and intense planning I’ve ever done. Ever since my hours were reduced at work in late August, I’ve been taking part time side-job work to help with the money sitch. Most of it has been personal home reorganization, but this was ambitious. Certainly the kind of project to test even an organizer like me.

There were a few bumps in the process of getting everything together, but really, The Day Of was incredibly smooth. I’m not sure if that’s due to the organizing, the easy-going flow of the couple and their friends/family, or the essence of the day itself, but overall, they were married at a gorgeous, open, natural site,

we had a pleasant afternoon with coffee and cake post-ceremony, and then later in the evening, a bright starry night pre-ceeded the reception.It was a warm and vivacious affair. The autumn theme, the cake, the meal, the dress, the way these two affectionately love each other, and how they love each other, left the room warm with praise and satisfaction.

I don’t know that wedding planning is for me. I definitely experienced post-event blues, which I was surprised about until I talked with my event planner friend, who clued me into the emotions I was going through. I had been feeling pretty baffled by it all.

Leading the ceremony was one of the thrills of my life. Since I introduced these two, it was especially an honor. Speaking words of reverence and prayer, singing a love song with the group from the community to them, moved me very deeply. I love ceremony, and being part of this one was in many ways, perfection.

In past years, when this much activity is going on, sometimes I meditate on the cocoon. I draw strands of energy and strength around me. Lately, I’ve been meditating with a metaphysical surf board. I wonder what that means.

Financial planner

promise — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:54:14 +0000

its time to bump up the next stage of my financial development, and get an actual Planner to discuss my Goals. Who’s got suggestions?

I’ve spent the last 3 years getting my financial life in a more empowered position. I’ve greatly and vastly improved my credit score. I’ve maintained a successful checking account with no overdrafts (for the most part). I have some savings. I have more than one credit card, and while my limits aren’t very big, they aren’t secured anymore, and they are getting larger with time. I’ve taken out small personal loans, and paid them back before they were due so I wouldn’t have to pay heavy interest. I’ve paid off all my long term debt, and now manage the short term debt. AND I just signed up for my first ever retirement account, and didn’t leave the meeting feeling like a total ignorant fool.Woohoo, go ME! I say.

But my long term financial planning leaves me feeling sort of lost. I have found that it’s much easier to “punish and reward” myself in the short stints, rather than actually abundantly give to my own life in the long term. After reading the Automatic Millionaire, I found it incredibly hard to Pay Myself First. I assume, like everything, it will take practice.

So, I want to adopt children. I want to start my own business. Those are the biggies. and I’m not sure where to go Next, with those goals in mind. Should I play the stock market? and then how do I play it, aggressively, cautiously, or the way grandma would, by stuffing bills into mattresses?

When do you know to stop researching and start ACTING?

I feel the growth spurt financially the way that teenagers hurt when their bodies grow too fast. And I’m asking for help. So if you know a good financial planner, that can work with a 30-something single woman in the Bay Area, who’s got some juicy plans up her sleeve, hook me up.

Or share your story here! I love to talk about money, because it really is an emotional topic. Anyone who tells you it’s just Business isn’t being honest. It *is* more than Business, it’s our LIVES. Amen.

Photo cred-

http://www.advice.com/images/uploaded/article/7/e/7e2bd30ad3bd4bbfa5fe620b25eede1f

The Automatic Millionaire

promise — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:04:48 +0000

I’ve been reading this amazing book called the Automatic Millionaire. It starts with two principles-Pay yourself First, and Make it Automatic.

We talked before about the emotional impact that money can have on our satisfaction, our security, and our sense of empowerment.

If you were raised like I was, it was with the sense that Uncle Sam takes his bit, you pay the bill collectors, who’ve been providing services to you all month to help you stay fed, warm, clothed, and sheltered. THEN, and only then, can you pay yourself. The book does something I realized 10 years ago, but never really grasped how to change from a working class level-pay yourself FIRST. Set aside money for Future Promise.

I have a difficult time imagining a future Me. I love to plan, I love to look about 2-10 months down the road..to bubble with excitement, to strategize, to rise to the challenge of unexpected bumps that try and derail a good vacation, celebration, or travel. But further than that? It’s silly, I know, because I already hope to live a good long life. but how am I to know what Future Promise wants? What her hopes and dreams are? Where she’s been let down, and where she’s been pleasantly surprised?

Well, the fact is, she IS going to want money. More is better than less, right? Hence my mom giving me the book, and me, being in the right state of mind to absorb the same exact lessons from 10 years ago, have said shut it to the tiny voice in my head and am starting to listen.

So, the first thing? PAY YOURSELF FIRST. Set aside 1%, 2%, 6 1/4 %, I Don’t care! Set aside something for Future You every time you get paid. If you do this first, and start making it automatic, so you aren’t even aware of when it happens, and to the place it goes, I believe this will work. It does take some managing eventually, but the first step, is to Do It.

I also recommend buying the book for yourself. and if you don’t like it, come back here and say so. I want to hear what you think! Money is a strange and dangerous tool. We must wield with the flame of wisdom.

Getting Absolved-Thanks, Jesus

promise — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:35:53 +0000

I have been keeping something to myself. A shame I couldn’t face, because no one was asking me to face it. Literally, the people who I betrayed and let down, have essentially already absolved me. I see them, they are kind, friendly and open to me. And yet, they gave me money at one point, in good faith, and never saw the results of the project they gave towards.

In the course of the last 3 years, I’ve been on a journey of self-awareness with money and its power over every element of my life. I’ve paid off my debts to the IRS, the State of California, and to my credit card companies. I’ve increased my FICO score by over 100 points in one year. I’ve taken on financial responsibility that would’ve made me pass out in the past. I’ve become the woman I’ve always dreamed I would be.

And yet, this final debt, that I’ve finally owned, out loud, to my best friend, my lover, and the people involved, is a retribution owed to my friends. And I’ve asked them if they will help me complete my journey through Money by paying them back every penny I owe them from 6 years ago. And yesterday, I had my first response. He said “Good for you for being brave. I will cheerfully accept the money back with no hard feelings”.

I am paying back my friends. I am paying back myself the empowerment I need to manifest my big dream, opening my own business. I am stepping into the light and acknowledging that in my imperfections, I can do right by those in my past. It feels amazing. The water of absolution.

Musings #2

promise — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:34:05 +0000

Say one person speaks two languages, while the other speaks only one language.

its the responsibility of the person who speaks two languages, to speak in the language they can both understand.

Random Posts

Origins-Money Matters & Myth

promise — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:13:55 +0000

This is the inspiration for naming a whole category about my point of view on money=how it affects us, molds us, and generally changes the course of whole lives in one fell swoop. Amazing stuff, really.

Here’s the post from Feb 2008-

Yesterday marked an important day for me.

A few years ago, two incredible life shifting events happened. The man who raised me for essentially 15 years passed away, and I was working for myself as a cigarette and candy girl. Technically, I was working for someone else, but all the financial responsibility fell to me. Because of the first event, I failed to take care of the second.

Especially when it came to Taxes, and the IRS.
Even after I went to Burning Man, I stuck my proverbial financial neck in the sand. I experienced a kind of second adolescence. Which is funny, since I never really had a first one. A year or two passed, and I still hadn’t filed, or sent a single payment to the IRS in 4 years. When they found out I was working a legit job at a non-profit, they tried to garnish my wages. In a valiant and desperate attempt last May, I worked a deal and now have been paying them a heavy stipend every month (Its like child support payments without the visitation rights) until God Knows How Many Years From Now to pay down my debt. And the fun doesn’t stop there, as I hadn’t even talked to the State of California yet either.
Suffice to say, I’ve been biting the Being a Grownup bullet pretty hard the last year. I now pay almost 40% of my income every month to my back taxes. And yesterday, a light shone through, strong and clear.

By mid-February, one of the three major debts will be paid.
By mid-April, the second of the three major debts will be paid.
and by June, the last and largest of the debts, will be paid, COMPLETELY. AND! I will be current even with 2007 taxes.

What does this mean? Only that for the first time in my life, something mythic, something NEVER before dreamed of will happen. Not only will I be out of debt, completely, but I will be making *more money* than before. I know people who have debt. I even know a small percentage of people who have no debt, but have no $$ either. I don’t know if I know anyone who can claim no debt and still makes money.

Don’t get me wrong-I’m living on $30 for the next two weeks, and so happy in my life its disgusting. And I know the debt thing will rear its head again; as soon as I start my business. But for now, the taste of this sensation, this empowerment,is like tasting chocolate for the first time. Or the taste of a lover you’ve never kissed before, and is wildly more tangy and wonderful than you imagined.

I didn’t learn a single, useful, practical applicable thing about money from my parents’ knees. I’ve fought against my impulsive nature, I’ve raged against the word Responsibility so many times, I feel like the Berlin Wall has come down in my heart.
I can’t believe its taken me this long, and yet.
And yet.

I feel so light and lovely now. Its really just a balancing teeter totter. The System is often set up to help us fail-Mortgages, Marriages, Credit Card offers, Going into Business, Taxable Deductions, retirement plans. Not to mention the labrynithian maze of Tax Season every April.

I thought long yesterday about the title of this blog. Money. It Matters. Money is Matter. Money Matters to my heart. And how mythic this feeling of empowerment that I have given. given!!!!!! as a gift to myself. and the Myth, as I explained to my ex this morning on the phone, how the myth of it affects us all.

I am astounded for my future. I’m proud of how smart and kind and forgiving I’ve been to myself. I don’t apologize for my past slack offs, I just stand up outta the dust where I’ve landed on my emotional ass, laugh a little, brush myself off, and get back to doing the work I’ve gotta do.

I’m proud of me. I’m happy I’m here. In every way possible. I think my dad would be proud too.

That ol ball and chain

promise — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:08:46 +0000

So I was talking with my niece last week over dinner, and said something out loud that didn’t really strike me until it was already outta my mouth. It’s often that way with me-I think it, I say it, THEN I absorb the full implication of it. Yikes, right? Still, its proven insightful at times. Anyway, I said something along the lines of ‘Money is like a relationship in your family=you can rage against it, you can betray it, you can celebrate it, but ultimately, its with you for life.”

So here are a couple of posts about my relationship with money over the last year and a half, and how its changed me.

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From Jan, 2007
“I am doing *really* well with my finances. I was a terribly compulsive spender, and have managed to have more than $2.46 in my bank account come payday. THAT is a pretty incredible feeling. I still need to save some more, and start the retirement fund thingie, but I’ve been acting more like a grown up, and its actually cooler than I thought. Credit union account, AAA membership, even a Macy’s card (trust me, I didn’t want to, but its necessary for a climb to a better credit score) ”

From late Jan 2007

“So I went to check my FICO score the other day, and the relief that came with it was so enormous, I just had to share.
My score was abysmal in October. Truly. Almost in the worst catagory. Now I have moved up one catagory, and am on my way up to a higher one. YAY for paying bills on time, and thoroughly!
I want to get my score up so I can start a business, and am going to need a loan or an angel investor. I’m tired of working for someone else, and I have SUCH better skills in other places.
Either way, I can’t move around in my life, without a bit more flexibility.
I always thought that if I didn’t play by Big Brother’s rules, I could outsmart the game. Yeeah. Not so much. Now I play the @#$#$%#$ game, and get better ahead. I hate it, but still.
So I’m just sharing here. If it means nothing to you, just give me a big ol YAY!
If it does, give me better than that. “

My Little Pail » Money Matters and Myth

Data Dump

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