Quan Yin
March 11, 2009
I alluded a few weeks ago to the fact that I was going to be seeing the Great Ex-Love of my Life for a meal, and would perhaps want to talk about it here, in blog form. I know I haven’t been very weekly about the blog of late, and for that, I apologize. I am sure you hang on every juicy tidbit I throw, and to leave you hanging like that was just…well, cruel. Again, please accept my humblest and grovelinglyest regret. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but really, all I can do is say I will Try Harder.
I did meet with this person, who we will name here as Cyclone. We talked for a long, long time, and covered old ground, current ground, and even larger-than-life big-picture ground. It was..illuminating. Also, the energy of seeing this person again had me doubled over trying to cry or throw up afterwards, I couldn’t decide which. Please note-It was not pain, it was not despair, it was not being unresolved, or anything remotely like that. It was the energy. It was the psychic space, the electric charge..the…*personality cloud* of him and me, being in the same space, sharing communication. It wasn’t BAD. But it was INTENSE. And Agitating. I felt like the inside of a washing machine in the middle of the churn and spin mode.
Anyway. The conversation went really well, and he had recommended some classes/lectures at a local yoga studio, of which I’ve been to one. It was really fantastic, and I learned a lot. It struck me as religious, but that’s okay. Some things are just like that.
I’m getting ahead of myself though. Because after meeting with Cyclone, I felt a strong need to go to the San Francisco Japanese Tea Garden, in Golden Gate Park. I’d never been there before, and needed some grounding, yin, feminine energy. I tried for 2 days to motivate, and couldn’t seem to get out of the house during the pretty sunshine.
So I went the day it rained heavily, which turned out really well, because very few people were there. And the ones who were, didn’t really linger like I did. I dressed warm and smart, so standing under my umbrella, on the wet stones that curve sensually around the pond, was totally no big deal. People came and went. I stood there. I looked at every spot within my visible range, walking very, very slowly, literally drinking it in with my gaze. Stone, and water. Green life, and organic matter. Poi fish, bright as lollipops in the gray drizzle and plop of rain on the surface. Dwarf trees, lovingly tended and carefully trimmed for over 40 years… Each angle held so much art in it’s palm.This space is painstakingly, meticulously, deliberately, patiently, lovingly, laughingly, Full of everything that makes Life worth living. Its human, its diverse, and its real. I would say that a breath of fresh air knocked my soul over in a surprise wrestle.
so after THAT, I felt another strong need for a statue of Quan Yin. So off I went to SF Chinatown(using Citycarshare, yay!), and popped my head in and out of a couple of stores, getting a feel for the kinds and prices out there, finally settling on a bronze statue of her standing in the water, with a dragon at her feet, holding the pearl, with flowing robes. She is achingly beautiful. I immediately re-did my altar, and she’s been in my home, and blessing it since.
For more info on Quan Yin, go here:
Interesting new possibilities have cropped up since then. Nothing earth-shattering, but interesting nonetheless.
I hope you have an opportunity to visit the Tea Garden one day. It will be a lucky day for you.
I want to add a separate and special note to my readers and just say how grateful I am that you are reading, clicking on ads, checking out videos, etc.. Its awesome to know that folks from all over the world care about the musings of a girl named Promise. I encourage comments, as I would like to create more dialogue between you and me. Feel free to share your thoughts.
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Barney on Wed, 11th Mar 2009 1:07 pm
I have many fond memories of the Japanese Tea Garden, from when I was little. My great-aunts would take me there, I would scramble over the bridge that’s near the entrance, look at the fish and run around like kids do. I was perhaps a little too young to fathom what it meant culturally, but I enjoyed its beauty and tranquility. As I grew older it only became a more special place, as I started to understand why its peacefulness was important. I’m glad you found it.
carnen on Wed, 11th Mar 2009 2:18 pm
Quan yin bring me much peace. I used to have a white porcelain statue, and on my 30th birthday, I knocked her over by accident and her head flew off. I know three other women who have lost only the heads of their quan yin statues…i put mine to out in the garden to rest with her head beside her.
I have another one now and she has brought me much comfort.
Reading your words just now, I can feel you and picture you standing in the rain, full of so many emotions and memories.
The rain brings me much comfort too….so do you.
Annika on Wed, 11th Mar 2009 11:51 pm
I’ve never had a great love, but it’s still nice to reconnect with people and heal old wounds. I’m glad you can find this peace of mind.
I, too, always loved the Tea Gardens. When I can’t get there, I tend to head to the beach in the rain. No one else is around and it’s just Mother Ocean and me. She has so many lessons to teach…I am humbled when I take the time to learn.
Belen on Sun, 15th Mar 2009 3:34 am
I’m up late taking a break from closet cleaning and finally had a chance to read this. According to wikipedia, today is her birthday…
I have something I’d like to lend you
Would you like to stop by?
Norma on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 7:22 pm
WHAT A WAY YOU HAVE IN EXPRESSING EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING.
You are good. Keep up with your blogging. I was at the Tea Garden 40+ years ago and believe me I did not get the same feeling that you did. I was only 19 at the time. Just a baby myself but I do remember it well. That was about 20 years before you were born. The years during the Haight-Ashbury popularity. Golden Gate Park was covered with Hippies everywhere. I was not one of them though. They were so friendly and offered me little yellow dots that looked like frosting stuck to wax paper. I said No Thanks. I wonder what that was???