Second Chances

January 13, 2009

What are the rules for giving someone a second chance? I find myself asking this question a lot lately. In relationships and friendships, if someone hurts me, or vice versa, we talk through it, or argue through it, then go to our respective corners to re-evaluate the truths that were revealed in light of the conflict. We try again to approach, learn new truths, hopefully resolve it in one go. Sometimes it can’t be resolved that quickly.Sometimes it’s dropped altogether, though I’ve learned that the lesson in one situation is usually going to crop up again if you don’t deal with it.

When someone ends a friendship or relationship with me, it’s often based on a few things-communication issues, lifestyle incompatibility, and a breakdown of respect from each side. It becomes full of hurt, mis-trust, and pessimism. Neither one feels like the other is on our “side”.

I’ve had friends who evaporate. I’ve had lovers who storm off. I’ve even had family who say they just can’t do the “effort”. As if family is something you can so easily walk away from!

So where I am at now, is that several lovers from the past have been looping back to talk with me. This comes as no surprise, as nearly everyone who I’ve split with, has looped back at some point or another. For the most part, however I felt at the time of the split, is pretty much how I feel about it now. Even throughout whatever changes Life brings, any unresolved feelings haven’t really moved around in my heart.Whereas Time seems to change how others feel, but me, not so much. I’ve learned to live with it.

I enjoy conversations with old lovers and past friends. On the street, through digital social networks, or random bump-in’s at a party. There are only, literally, two people who’ve left my network that I truly want nothing to do with.

I explore the concept of the second chance, because at one point, even recently, I swore I wouldn’t do it. But really, you never, EVER know where the road will lead you. And for that, maybe the second chance I’m giving is not to others, but myself.

Photo credit to:

http://helenandthehunter.com/blog/uploads/image/night%20road.jpg

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