Your Honor
January 5, 2009
The last month or so I’ve noticed an odd thing. I’ve been singled out by a smattering of various friends who feel like telling me about the positive impact I’ve made on their life. It’s as if they suddenly woke up with a strong sense of Complimetaryisis and called me up to waft fabulous, heartfelt, sincere, tear-inducing sweet fumes in my direction. Its nothing short of The Awesome, let me tell you.
So they honor me. And then my internal judge, “Your Honor”, feels the urge, nay the NEED! to pipe up and evaluate if these sentiments are deserved on my part. It’s bizarre. For every compliment, its as if there is a small court to determine if I’m actually Worthy of it.
So I listen bemusedly inside my head, with all the other members of the courtroom-jury, defendant, audience, reporters, artists, etc while my friend tries to say something nice.
Regardless of the Ego’s internal Court, I would like to say ignore that little 2 inch judge and hear your friend in all the love they intend.
Belen on Tue, 6th Jan 2009 4:47 pm
When we tell eachother ‘you *are* something’, we are judging. Just as much if we say “You are amazing and beautiful!” as if we were to say “You are gross and mean!”, either statement is filled with the power of evaluation.
I have the option to choose to express myself to you without passing judgement over you. For me to express the same sentiment as “I am feeling so inspired and heartened because I have been wanting to stay connected to you” or as “This blog is sweet! You are so wonderful!” will affect how you hear it. Alternately, you have the option try to be present for what I’m feeling in this moment (inspired, heartened) whether I’ve chosen to communicate with a judgement or with what I’m feeling–by shutting your own judge off to get past the judge I’m using, you can gain access to the present state of my heart.
If I am judging you (even with a compliment) and you are judging yourself too in that moment as you receive it, I agree with you and would expect that would happen!
Love,
Belen’s mind
Ps. Yep, it’s NVC!
num-num on Wed, 14th Jan 2009 9:47 pm
I smiled as I was reading this piece. I floated on the imagery of complimentary scents, and I grinned and nodded, reading about the experiences in your head.